Memory
by Dark Hikari Twilight
Summary: Cloud is trying to piece his life back together, but the memory of one man in standing in the way. CloudXGen YAOI Post-DOC


I've been at my mother-in-law's all weekend with out my notes for Full Circle or Serendipity and I felt like writing, so this is a one shot that's basically a prequel to another story I intend to start once those stories are done (or at least one of them)

This is YAOI, GenXCloud so turn away now if you don't like it.

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Cloud stared out the window of his room. The last of his memories were falling it place, but there was one person who kept appearing in his memories, someone he had seen from two different prospectives, who he didn't even know their name. One prospective he knew to be Zack's, and who ever this man was Zack hadn't cared for him. Zack associated feelings for the most part were anger, frustration and pain. A little bit of sympathy and pity shined through, with a ting of thankfulness but who ever this man had been, he had caused Zack a lot of pain.

That's why when Cloud started having memories of his own, involving the man, he hadn't realized they were the same person. In his memories who ever this man was, had made Cloud feel warm inside. He knew theirs had been an unlikely friendship, one born out of necessity. Cloud didn't know why, all his memories of the man were blacked out completely at worst, and fuzzy at best. He did know he had done something that the man was very grateful for, grateful enough to strike up a friendship with a cadet.

He knew their friendship was tenuous, but the man had offered him a few pointers and Cloud knew they had spent what time they could together, not much for a SOLDIER and a Cadet. Then he had all but disappeared and he knew the man's disappearance was linked to him failing to become a SOLDIER himself. It was only in his later memories that he realized that whoever had been the cause of Zack's plight had been the same man. In these newer memories, this man had caused him the same pain, though his seemed more personal. Cloud knew he had hurt the man too, but he didn't know how or why.

It was the last piece of his past he needed to fight together and he just couldn't do it. Who was this mysterious man whose name he couldn't even remember? He had thought about asking Reno, but he couldn't even come up was a decent description of the man. All he knew were his emotions tied to him, and even those he wasn't sure of.

The only thing he could remember with any real clarity at all was a question and the reply.

_"Will you come with me?", "No" _

He stood and decided to head to the ruins, he had taken to wondering them, clearing out monsters before they go too close to Edge. The monsters had been come more vicious and reckless, wandering into the city. It was the same all over the world.

He also found that his memories of the mysterious man were strongest, and most likely to surface in the area. It made sense after all; he had obviously known the man because of Shinra. Cloud knew he was forgetting something extremely important, involving him and it was eating away at him worse then his guilt ever had.

He slipped out past Tifa and the children with out so much as a word. He had been getting better about hanging around, but there were still times, like today, when his memories were sitting at the back of his mind, that he couldn't handle normal contact, and wished to just be alone with his thoughts and shattered memories.

It was a quick trip on Fenir down into the ruins. Both his last battle with Sephiroth and Omega had done a number on them, but it was still navigable. He let the wind flow through his hair, as he approached the Church. He started off most visits here with a check on the flowers. Times like this he wished Aerith would speak to him again; her words were soothing when his mind was in turmoil, but she hadn't spoken to him once since the rain fell and she departed from the church. Cloud wondered if she would ever appear to him again, the look on Zack's face as he disappeared had seemed so _final_.

He walked in and his eyes as always went to the patch of flowers, and then the water next to it. No matter how much they used it never seemed to go down. The flowers had also exploded all over the church, the water feeding them as they grew. It was a lovely field of yellow and white. He knelt beside the pool and filled a few vials, finding someone who was still infected with Geostigma was rare, but the water was good for curing several other aliments.

Lastly he finished his visits tending to the sword he had gotten from Zack. Here in its shrine, it hadn't had as much rust or wear as it did out on the Midgar cliffs, but it did need a good cleaning now and then.

As he polished Zack's sword he heard the doors open, it was rare that someone made it out this far with the current monster population, but occasionally one of his former comrades would come out here to pay their own respects to Aerith. As he looked up however he didn't recognize the man entering the building.

He had dirty, almost cinnamon colored hair. It cascaded down enough to hide his eyes, but not their Mako glow. A former SOLDIER then, it would explain how he made it out here. Cloud assumed he had come to retrieve some of the healing water. He most likely had been paid or was getting it for a friend or family member. Either way Cloud didn't care, there was enough for everyone. The man's coat was tattered, one side was composed of what Cloud assumed was the original material, red leather, and the other was a crisscross of black leather straps.

"Why do you have that sword?" The voice cracked a bit. Cloud looked back up at the man with a curious expression.

"It belonged to a friend; I take care of it from time to time to make sure it doesn't waste away." Cloud answered the man. It was possible he had known Zack and recognized it.

The look on the man's face when he looked up and spoke caught Cloud off guard. It was one of shock, was it really so surprising that he had known Zack as well?

"Cloud?" The man finally stuttered out.

"Yes," Cloud said slightly confused. How did this man know his name?

"But you were dead." Genesis whispered out. "They told me you didn't survive."

"Who are you? Why would you think I was dead?" Cloud said placing the sword down. He had no memory of this man what so ever. Why would he have cared that Cloud was dead?

"You don't remember?" The man said looking away, "I suppose that's Hojo's fault." He swore. "They told me you died on the cliffs. Is Fair alive too?" He asked.

Now Cloud's mind was reeling. Who was this person, who seemed to know so much, how did he know Zack and why did he believe Cloud had died with him?

"Who are you?" Cloud sounded a little more stern this time. This man didn't seem to be a threat but Cloud had stopped trusting a long time ago.

"Genesis" The man said in a breath. "Genesis Rhapsodos"

A memory assaulted Cloud, and he cringed grabbing his head.

_"I'll make sure you get out of here Commander Rhapsodos." Cloud said looking down at the man in his arms. Genesis was embarrassed to admit anything had gotten a jump on him. Now he was relying on this cadet until the paralysis wore off, a cadet that 6 hours earlier he had threatened to have kicked out of the program._

_ "What's your name cadet?" Genesis had managed to say, a good sign that it was starting to fade. It would be at least another hour though before he could move on his own and there was an enemy camp nearby. _

_ "Cloud Strife Sir." The blonde answered shifting Genesis' weight on his back, before taking his rifle and shooting down a rather large bug that must have thought they looked tasty. _

When he came back to his senses, Genesis was at his side, "Are you alright?"

"You're him." Was all Cloud managed to say.

"You remember me now?" Genesis voice sounded hopeful as he help Cloud stand straight again.

'Vaguely" Cloud acknowledged "Certain things, I had been remembering you before, but I couldn't place a face or a name."

"How are you alive? Cissinei told me you died with Zack, is he alive too?" Genesis pressed.

Cissinei, he had seen a girl with Reno by that name one time when he had visited the bar. She had been a Turk as well.

"No he didn't survive." Cloud said, the memory didn't haunt him as it once had, but it didn't mean he enjoyed thinking about what happened. "They left me for dead, because I had a severe case of Mako poisoning. How do you know about that?"

"I ran into Zack when he was on the run with you." Genesis admitted. "I didn't think you had much longer myself. I ran into Cissinei some time after that, and she said you and he had died. I've kind of been off the map since then." That explained why he didn't know Cloud was alive then. Cloud didn't dwell on it, but he was rather well known through out the world.

"I had no idea what happened, you look, just." Genesis sighed motioning his hands. "I didn't recognize you at first." He finally said letting them fall back to his side.

"I still don't remember everything. You obviously knew me, but beyond that I couldn't tell you much else." Cloud said to the man, who seemed a bit solemn at the news.

"I can help you remember if you like." Genesis said.

Cloud just looked down; this man had been a large part of his life at Shinra he knew. "The memories connected to you are the last ones I need to fill in all the pieces in my head. For some reason though, my mind has completely blocked them."

"_I really owe you for what happened in the field." Genesis said, "The fact you didn't tell anyone what really happened." Genesis shook his head. "They probably wouldn't let me continue with the Wutai assignment if they had known." _

_ "It's alright Sir, I'm just a cadet anyway, they wouldn't have believed me." Cloud said looking down._

_ "I'll have to thank you anyway, let me buy you a drink." Genesis said with a smile. _

_ "It really is alright Sir." Cloud said wide eyed. _

_ "I'm not taking no for an answer, and stop calling me Sir, you saved my life back there." Genesis said placing a hand on Cloud's shoulder._

_ "I'm sure you would have found another way out." Cloud said looking up at the man._

_ "I don't share your confidence." Genesis said, leading Cloud toward the exit of the Shinra building. _

"Another memory?" Genesis asked worriedly.

"Yes, it seems just having you around, is sparking them." Cloud said holding his head again. He wished the ringing in his ears would stop.

"What have you remembered so far?" Genesis asked tentatively.

"Just, when I believe I first met you, I was carrying you on my back; you had been paralyzed by something, and then afterward back at Shinra, you insisting on thanking me with a drink." Cloud said shaking his head a bit. He still felt disoriented.

"A basilisk, I remember the bloody thing." Genesis said with a sneer. "It caught me off guard, and caught me in its stare. You manage to get behind it and put my sword through its skull, and then carried me out of the combat zone." Genesis said. "We had been separated from the rest of our unit earlier in the day, when the bridge we were on collapsed. I remember blaming it on you, but it was just as much my fault." Genesis offered.

The story sounded familiar, and he was trying to force the pieces into place. They just weren't going in right just yet. This happened sometimes when Tifa would tell him things. It just took awhile for his own memories of the event to settle in.

"Afterward, you didn't mention anything about the incident. They never even knew what really happened back at HQ. I was too much of a coward to tell them myself. I knew I would have been denied command of the forces in Wutai, if they knew a simple Basilisk had almost done me in. I was very grateful." Genesis offered.

"I went to Wutai with you didn't I?" Cloud asked looking up at the man.

"Another memory?" Genesis asked, Cloud hadn't zoned out this time though.

"No, just putting pieces of other memories together." Cloud said looking to one of the broken stain glass windows.

"Well, the answer is yes, we ended up a strange pair of friends after that. We kept it secret because, it would have looked bad for both of us. I was suddenly friendly with a cadet that I shouldn't know existed and you would have been viewed as receiving favoritism." Genesis said. "I did try and help you a long a bit with the SOLDIER program, its part how you ended up in Wutai with me." Genesis said, Cloud knew he was leaving things out, he could almost see the holes in Genesis's story.

_"You're drunk." Cloud said helping the man back to Shinra HQ._

_ "You're pretty." Was Genesis's reply, Cloud sighed, in a company full of men; he often got viewed like a woman. _

_ "I'm still a man, don't get any funny ideas." Cloud said sternly._

_ "Oh I know you're a man." Genesis said with a grin, it was almost sinister in his drunken state. "I've spent all night thinking about that fact, why do you think I'm so drunk?" _

_ "You're drunk because I'm a man?" Cloud asked._

_ "Because you're a man AND!" Genesis emphasized. "I want to kiss you." _

_ Cloud nearly dropped the commander. "Wha-what? You're to drunk." _

_ "Nope, wanted to kiss you before I was drunk, I got drunk so I would actually do it, then I forgot." Genesis said. _

Cloud lifted his hand from his head and looked at Genesis in a new light.

"You kissed me." Cloud said touching his lips.

"So you remembered that part now huh?" Genesis said, he was a little hesitant.

"Why?" Cloud asked, he knew a lot hung on this question.

"Because outside Angeal, who I wouldn't have kissed if someone had paid me, you were the first person, who treated me like normal and came to my defense. It was refreshing. I hadn't thought of myself as gay, or really anything, but that night." Genesis stopped for a second. "That night I could get you out of my head. I knew I was to chicken to do anything while I was sober, and I would have regretted just letting you go, so I got drunk, so I would have the courage to tell you."

"The other part of why I went to Wutai with you?" Cloud asked searching Genesis's eyes for an answer.

"Because I didn't want to go without you, in a short time I had become addicted to you." Genesis said looking away. "For sometime afterwards I didn't know if it was the degradation or the part of my mind that still function properly, but I loved you with everything I had."

"You loved me?" Cloud said stunned. Why couldn't he remember more?

_"I got the clearance." Cloud said hugging Genesis. "I'll be assigned to your personal unit. They didn't even seem to care." Cloud grinned. _

_ "Good." Genesis said leaning over and placing a small kiss on Cloud's lips. "I'm not letting you go to Wutai on your own." _

_ "Do you think we'll be able to be together much?" Cloud asked looking up at the man._

_ "I really don't care. We'll be a 1000 miles away from anyone that might do something about it. I doubt anyone would notice if you shared my tent." Genesis said looking at Cloud. "If you want to that is." _

_ "Of course I want too. I hate that I can't spend more time with you here. You're not the only one addicted you know." Cloud said with a smile. _

_ "I have to go attend a meeting soon, stay here and when I get back we will 'celebrate'" Genesis said with a grin, and Cloud felt a warmth spread through his stomach. _

"I think I loved you too." Cloud said before he realized it. "What happened?" Cloud now desperately needed to know.

"My degradation is what happened." Genesis said closing his eyes, a scowl on his face. "My mind started falling apart as well as my body. I was desperate for a cure that I had forsaken everything else." Genesis was almost crying. "You, Angeal, all of Shinra, my men, everything all in search for a cure."

_"Come with me Cloud, It will be glorious; we can have our revenge on Shinra." Genesis stretched out his to Cloud_

_ "Then men, what have you done to them, why do they look like you?" Cloud asked, backing away fear in his voice. _

_"I've given them a part of me so they can be perfect." Genesis said in his madness. "Will you come with me?" _

_ "No." Cloud said shaking his head. "You're not yourself, please." Cloud pleaded. _

_ "You're siding with them then! The ones who did this to me!" Genesis raged. A black wing unfurled from his back and he took to the skies. _

_ "Genesis!" Cloud screamed reaching up towards the sky, as the rain started to fall. He was the only one left. _

"You asked me to come with you." Cloud said wrapping his arms around himself.

"Even in my madness I couldn't turn you. I remember want you to stay with me." Genesis shook his head.

"Afterward, I was removed from the SOLDIER program and enlisted in the regular army." Cloud said, other pieces falling together. "I signed up for Modeoheim, because I knew you'd be there. That's where I meet Zack."

It was all starting to come together.

"At that point, I just remember pretending you were dead. In my fragmented mind you had betrayed me and didn't deserve my attention, but I knew you were there. Even in Nibelhiem, Though I was to far gone at that point to do anything to save you." Genesis did let a tear fall.

"After Nibelhiem, I remember you being there in Banora, after I regained myself, I thought I wasn't worthy to try and go to you again. I thought you were near death then, and that you were better off with Zack. I had caused you so much pain already." Genesis said grief in his voice. "Then Cissinei told me you had died with Zack, and I blamed myself again. If I had insisted you come with me." Genesis got a bit chocked up at that. "I buried myself in Deepground, and I haven't come out since."

"You were with Deepground?" Cloud asked.

"That's what you want to ask me?" Genesis said slightly surprised.

"It's the easiest question for me to process at the moment." Cloud acknowledged, Still not sure what to think of the man in front of him.

"I suppose it's the easiest to answer. Yes, Deepground wouldn't have existed with out me. Though my direct involvement didn't last long, I've been in a self induced stasis for the last several years. " Genesis admitted. "I do have some questions of my own." He said looking around.

"A lot has happened." Cloud acknowledged. "I'll tell you what you want to know."

"Right now, the only question I have is if you believe in second chances." Genesis said taking Cloud's hand.

"I've had my fair share he said." Still uncertain, it would take some time for his memories to finish falling into place.

With that Genesis leaned in and gave Cloud a slight kiss. Cloud relaxed, this his body at least remembered. The rest would come with time.

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Hope you enjoyed it, and if you did please leave a review. Edited out several spelling/typing errors.


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